So I saw a Facebook post one of my closest friends had tagged me in and it was of some kid doing a very lewd Asian impression and talking about buttsex jokes, asking to either put one or two chopsticks up the ass. I was offended because it took two important aspects of my identity, race and sexual orientation, and squish it together and project them in an impersonal and offensive view. But I can’t help but ask if part of her thinking it’s okay to joke about stereotypes that far is because of me.
I know I am guilty of joking about those two aspects as well, but it could be because of my upbringing. Meaning that I grew up in a not-so-diverse environment, barely any other peers I know that are of Asian descent. On top of that, I was intimidated by whatever peers I had because I could not identify with them, so I felt like I had to win them over with my humor. I felt that I wanted to make friends and the easiest way was through humor. And sure enough, the asian+gay jokes won people over and so I continued the joking in hopes of keeping friends. But as I see the video, I can’t help but feel disappointed. Disappointed in myself and to anyone who thinks that race and sexual orientation stereotyping jokes are okay, especially “jokes” that are offensive.
I also can’t help but think about how much of a limbo I am in. I don’t fully relate to the friends I have because they don’t entirely understand being Asian American. I also don’t fully relate to other Asian American peers because, in my observations, they seem to either scoff at me for not being Asian enough for them or ridiculed because I am too Asian for them. My question is why must race and sexual orientation be punching bags? Why do we feel like we have to joke about our ethnicity and our natural attraction in order to gain popularity or gain camaraderie? Those aspects should be the least of our concerns when forming relationships with others, but in a country as fairly new as the USA is in comparison to other countries and an immigrant vs natural born population divide always changing and present, the stereotypes are most likely not gonna go away for a few decades. What I hope for the foreseeable future is an ease on racial and sexual divide.
So something happened and I couldn’t help but to write it out and this is what I’ve written so far, coupled with asking myself questions